As many of you will know, I graduated from my masters degree at the end of Sept; well, actually my graduation hasn’t happened yet but you know what I mean: I finished uni & that has only meant one thing: START LOOKING FOR A JOB! (which I have been shit at doing – I have my reasons, I promise you!)
Job hunting has been an emotional roller coaster for me and I’ve had all sort of thoughts; including:
1) Waking up to a depleted phone battery = OMG! I bet a recruiter rang me and now I’m going to have lost my dream job *cries* WAIT! It’s 6AM..I’m sure a recruiter wouldn’t have called in the last 6 hours, but you never know..
2) Are recruiters trying to help people find jobs which they wanted to do themselves? Like seriously, I know a guy who’s graduated with a masters from UCL who’s become a recruitment consultant *confused face*
3) Graduate role/Entry level role – require experience in.. WAIT! STOP! Why are you called an entry level or graduate role?! I thought those were for people with no experience, hence the word GRADUATE i.e. people who have JUST finished their degree! Or have I got this completely wrong?!
4) I have four out of seven of the things they look for in an ideal candidate for this job.. I’ll still apply..It doesn’t matter..I’m sure no one has ALL these ridiculous essentials! Or just maybe I’m not good enough for the job! Hahaha. Good joke, Farah. Who are you kidding?! You’re perfect! (to your mum!)
5) Why do I want to work in the finance sector? Well, I want lots of money & I like the social life..is that a good enough answer?
6) When at interviews or talking to recruiters on the phone – Why do I sound so stupid? Why have I forgotten how to string sentences together? Maybe they’ll let me off because I’m brown..No, Farah! That’s discrimination!
7) If only my looks could get me the job..WAIT! Then I’d be a model..Actually, I’d rather not be told what to wear, eat and how to walk or I would be one *rolls eyes* (God! I sound so vain!)
8) I need to learn to chat shit!
9) Why does no one want me? *cries* Oh, yes, I didn’t go to Oxbridge! How could I forget?
10) I HATE COVER LETTERS! DO NOT ASK ME TO WRITE ANOTHER BLOODY ONE! :a
11) OMG! Did I attach my CV or that cute selfie from last week on the toilet?
12) I’m sure it would be easier to be a stripper..No, I’m more classier than that.. I’ll be an escort..off to my best friend, Google, I go to learn how..
13) I’m going mad! I need human interaction with people other than my family! I NEED A LIFE!
14) Maybe I should do another degree..
15) Maybe I should live off daddy..
16) Maybe I should just find a rich husband..
As you can see, I seem to be losing the plot! Just pray I survive!